Palestinians are not Arabs

December 6, 2023soladumiye Leave a comment

So with what has been going on in the world with the Israel, Gaza, Palestinians, and Israelis situation, I felt it was very necessary to shed some light on the Palestinian ethnicity because there is SO MUCH ignorance, disinformation and misinformation about it.

And one thing that I feel brings a lot of confusion is how people conflate the Palestinian identity and history with the identity and history of Arabs.So let us jump right into it.

Yes, like the title said Palestinians are not arabs. I know, I know, it is a seemingly controversial statement to make, but it is accurate and you will come to understand why.To explain this statement, let us start with the history of Jewish people.

So there were actually 2 Jewish nations in antiquity: Israel and Judah. I will not go into how they split and became 2 nations, but you can read up about it in the Bible Old Testament book of 1 Kings 12.

These 2 nations were conquered and destroyed. The Assyrian empire conquered the nation of Israel and forcibly relocated some of the Jewish people out of their homeland. And resttled other people from their empire in the land of Israel. These new people and the remaining Israelites intermarried producing the Samaritan ethnicity. The samaritans still exist today in Israel/Palestine.

Some time after the Assyrian annexation of Israel, the King of Babylon, Nebuchadnezzar, conquered the nation of Judah. So now both the Israelites and Judeans were kicked out/exiled out of their land and taken as captive to other nations, spreading the Jewish people around the world. This is how the Jewish diaspora came about.

Now according to the Bible, God always leaves a remnant of Jewish people in the land. In Nehemiah 1:2 -3, Nehemiah, a Jewish man serving as cupbearer to a Medo-Persian king asked his brother how the Jewish people who had survived the destruction and exile were doing in their homeland formerly known as Judah:

Nehemiah 1:2 -3″Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant that survived the exile, and also about Jerusalem. They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire”

From the verses, you can see that there was a small remnant of Jewish people that were not exiled (just like with the Israelites from Israel) and there were others who came back. So you have 2 groups of people. Those who survive the exile and those who come back.

Now, the nations of Israel and Judah were no more. Their lands were now owned by the state that conquered them, in this case the Assyrians. The Assyrians then got conquered by the Babylonians. So that land mass formerly known as Israel and Judah passed into their hands.But Babylon gets conquered by the Medo-Persians, who get conquered by the Greeks under Alexander the Great. When he died, his empire was divided and different Greek generals got different parts.

The Ptolemys got Egypt, that’s why Cleopatra, who was a Ptolemy, was Greek, not North African or Black African.

And the Seleucids got the lands of Judah and the surrounding region. However, due to religious oppression by the Greek ruler Antiochus, a Jewish family, the Hasmoneans, under their father Mattathias and his sons like Judah Maccabee rose up, revolted and got autonomy from the Seleucid rule and eventually got independence from them.

However, after many years under the Hasmonean rule, there was a civil war. Rome intervened and made Judea a tributary state and later a province. They put an Idumean king, Herod, as ruler.

The Idumeans are the brothers of the Jewish people, their ancestor being Edom/Esau (who was the twin brother of Jacob/Israel), and under the Hasmonean rule the Idumeans were forcibly converted to Judaism and merged with the Jewish nation of Judea.

So just before the birth of Jesus Christ, the Romans were in charge of that land mass formerly known as Israel and Judah.

Now, after some time the Jewish people in the land wanted their independence from Roman occupation, and for their statehood to be restored. This was when they remembered the prophecy by their prophet Moses in Deuteronomy 18: 15Where Moses prophesied:

“The LORD your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among your own brothers. You must listen to him.”

This promised prophet became known as the Messiah, meaning saviour. And right then they needed a saviour to deliver them from the Romans and restore the nation of Israel to its glory days.

Then comes this stone mason named Yeshua or Jesus. And He starts doing a lot of miraculous things: healing the sick and the lame, multiplying food, preaching and teaching, even raising the dead.

Now before Jesus died and ressurected, He gave a prophecy that Jerusalem would be surrounded by armies and destroyed, including their beautiful temple .

Luke 2:20-2220 “When you see Jerusalem being surrounded by armies, you will know that its desolation is near. 21 Then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains, let those in the city get out, and let those in the country not enter the city. 22 For this is the time of punishment in fulfillment of all that has been written.”

So Jesus gave this prophecy, but He also gave a warning to His followers of what to do when Jerusalem got surrounded which was to flee to the mountains and get out of Jerusalem to preserve their lives.Then Jesus dies, ressurects, and ascends to heaven and life goes on.

Then comes the three big Jewish-Roman Wars. The Jewish rebels lost each one. In the first war, Jerusalem is surrounded like Jesus prophesied and is destroyed. But remember there were some people hiding in the mountains, people who had heeded Jesus’ warning to flee to there. People like Jesus’ family, the families of the Apostle Peter, James, Matthew, Jewish followers of Jesus otherwise known as Christians. Jewish Christians. In fact it is recorded that Jewish Christians fled to Pella and other cities North of Jerusalem before the war outbreak and the siege. Pella is located in present day Jordan.

Now, after this war, some Jewish people remained in Judea, the Jewish Christians came back, but Jerusalem was depopulated, and the Romans resettled some people from parts of their empire there.

The last Jewish -Roman war was the Bar Kokhba Revolt. In the other revolts, Jewish people were mainly exiled from Jerusalem, but in this last revolt, many Jewish people were exiled from Judea, and prohibited from entering Jerusalem. Their population in the land was really decimated through death, destruction, exile, and slavery.

There were heavy casualties on the Roman side as well, so the Romans had had enough. They decided to teach these rebellious Hebrews a lesson.

They renamed the land mass of Judea and the surrounding territories Syria Palestina meaning Palestinian Syria. Palestina was the Greek name of the famed arch-nemesis nation of Israel: Philistia. Goliath was a Philistine. As you can hear- Philistine, Palestine is basically the same word. So this is where the name Palestine comes from. Palestinians are not the ancient Philistines who are extinct. Nevertheless, there remained Jewish people, Samaritans, Idumeans, and other ethnicities in the land. There was also migration.

For example, the Ghassanids were an Arab christian tribe that migrated to the levant area, merged with the christians there and remained christian even after the Arab muslim conquest of the levant.

The Levant region comprises of Israel/Palestine, Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, and Turkey. The Jewish, Samaritans, and other indigenous ethnicities who lived in the land of Palestine are called Levant peoples. Like in Africa, we have the Niger-congo peoples, the Bantus, the Nilotic peoples, and in Europe we have the Scandinavians, etc.

Please also remember that even during the times of Ancient Israel in the days of King David, the land of Israel was not homogeneous, there were other non-jewish tribes living there. The ancient Jewish people themselves were of mixed ethnicity.In the centuries that followed, there were more conquests on the land. The Byzantine empire, the European Crusaders, the Arab muslim conquests, the Ottoman conquest, and finally the British.

Despite the different conquests of the land of Palestine, these new invaders did not resettle their populace into the area. Instead, they governed the area. In fact it is said that the European crusaders left almost no dna evidence of having conquered the area.

So when the Arab muslims conquered the land, they didn’t bring an Arab populace to settle in the land. Instead it was their warriors that began to rule over the indigenous Jewish, Samaritan, etc populace. Also you don’t conquer a place that is empty. The populace in Palestine remained the indigenous peoples of the land, the Levant people.

However, these people went through a process that other nations conquered by Arabs have gone through which is: Arabization and Islamization.When the Arab conquerors took over, they installed their language, just like the British and French did in the African countries they colonized. The Arabs would also only give positions to muslim converts who spoke arabic. And non-muslims were taxed, so it became economically beneficial to convert to Islam (Islamization) and to learn Arabic (Arabization). And also there were forced conversions to Islam.

And once they were all speaking Arabic and they had forgotten their indigenous languages, the indigenous people of Palestine, Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, Egypt all lands that were conquered by Arabs, started to be called Arabs, even though they are not genetic Arabs. They are linguistic Arabs. This is why Palestinians are called Arabs, because they speak Arabic, not because they are genetic Arabs.

Palestinians are a multi-ethnic people, Levant people, indigenous to the land, with Jewish ancestry. Some of them may have some Arab blood because of migration, and Bedouins tribes being there, but they remain Levant people. They retain their Levant culture which is not Arabic culture. For example, their traditional clothes are not Arab traditional clothes.

Other North African countries were also arabized. North Africans are not arabs. They are Amazigh people, Copts, Nubians, etc. And a certain percentage of the Amazigh and Nubians continue to speak their language and retain their identity. A few of the Amazigh don’t even speak Arabic, or at least not very well.

Don’t let anyone fool you that your native language is not important. It is important to learn your native languages and to teach them to your children because people will identify you by the language you speak.

So who are the genetic Arabs? Well, the people from Saudi Arabia, the Emirates, Qatar and some other countries are genetic Arabs.

Arabization is similar to Judaization. Judaization is when people convert to Judaism and so become Jews.

For example, it has been said that Morrocan Jews who were brought to the newly formed country of Israel in 1948, are not actually genetic Jews. They are the descendants of converts to Judaism.

In fact, several white south Africans of Dutch ancestry, converted to Judaism after the end of Apartheid and moved to Israel. These white South Africans are not of Jewish descent, but Dutch.

While Palestinians who are of Levant Jewish ancestry and who are indigenous to the land of Ancient Israel and Palestine and whose ancestors lived in the land of Palestine/ancient Israel for thousands of years, are denied access and legitimacy to their homeland.

And people erase this Palestinian historical, indigenous identity by giving them the historical and genetic identity of Arabs.

Let us now remember the early Jewish christians in that area.The Bible states that God always preserves a remnant. During the time of Prophet Elijah, Elijah lamented that he was the only Israelite who still worshipped God, but God told him that he had reserved for Himself 7000 Israelites who still believed in Him. A remnant.

In Romans 11:5 Paul who had been lamenting that Jewish people had not believed in Jesus Christ, states that there was still a remnant who did believe:

Romans 11:5″So too, at the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace.”

So where is that remnant of Jewish christians today?

Well, Palestinian christians will tell you that they are the descendants of the first christians, The first Christians were Jewish.

In the documentary (linked below) Holy Orthodoxy: The Ancient Church of Acts in the 21st century, a Palestinian christian man, named Richard Zakka (at around 15th minute) recounted how due to meticulous Palestinian Church family records his family traced their ancestry to Zachaeous the tax collector, a follower of Jesus found in the Bible New Testament book Luke 19: 1-10.

https://youtu.be/laHcgdE55Mo?si=QIg0jgVmmLuyNW8T

I have heard a Palestinian woman recount how her family became Christians on the day of Pentecost. On the day of Pentecost it is recorded in Acts 2 that 3000 Jewish people accepted Jesus as Messiah.

Linked below is a reading of the article: In support of the Palestinians by Elizabeth Elliot by Palestinian -Lebanese pastor Marwan Aboulzelof. Before he reads the article, he recounts how his family have always been in the northern part of Palestine and have always been christians.

https://podcast.ausha.co/didomi/furnace-of-the-lord-in-support-of-the-arab-a-reading-of-elisabeth-elliot-s-1978-christianity-today-article

In this video linked below, Alex Awad, a Palestinian christian missionary states (at around the 30 -32 min) that many Palestinians have ancestry in Palestine/Israel going back at least six thousand years.

https://youtu.be/LMwEu_CQP2U?si=_707mDHqbCKk0lSu

Palestinian christians are the remnant of Jewish believers. They are the descendants of the Jewish Christians: Jesus’ disciples, followers, and Jesus’ family.

Now I want to talk about the Arab identity before I close. So while Palestinians, other Levant peoples, and North Africans are not genetic Arabs and have their own history, indigenous lands, and cultures, due of Arabization, they fall under the umbrella of the Arab identity, which comprises of them and genetic Arabs.This Arab dentity is embraced by much of the Levant and North African peoples and is a uniting force which brings solidarity and has many good benefits.

The reason why I felt it was necessary to explain that Palestinians are not Arabs is because most people don’t know the complexity of the Arab identity and so strip Palestinians, Levant peoples and North Africans of their histories and rights to their indigenous lands.

For example, before I found out that North Africans were not Arabs, I was of the opinion that North Africans were not indigenous to the African continent since Arabs came into Africa in 642 AD. It wasn’t until I watched a dna results video by a Tunisian woman explaining that North Africans were not arabs that my opinion changed.Ascribing Arab history to Palestinians is the same thing as ascribing British history to Nigerians.

Just because Nigeria was colonized by Britain and are now anglophone aka english speakers, does not mean that Nigerians now descend from the English, originate from London or Essex, and King Arthur and Queen Elizabeth are now our ancestors. Not at all.

Nigerians were colonized by Britain, we are english speakers, but we retain our ethnic identities, indigenous lands, and cultures. It is the same with the Palestinians.

I hope that this article has now cleared up the misconception that Palestinians are genetic Arabs.I felt it was important to show that Palestinians are not genetic Arabs because many people state that God gave the land of Israel/Palestine to Jewish people, not to Arabs who descend from Ishmael, a son of Abraham, According to the Bible, Abraham was the father of Issac and Ishmael, but God gave the land of Canaan, Present day Palestine-Israel to Issac not to Ishmael. Therefore, people like to claim that Palestinians, as supposed Arabs, don’t have any claim to the land of Israel/Palestine and that they should move to Arabs nations and leave Israel/Palestine. This is like telling the Zulus in South Africa to leave their ancestral lands and move to Zimbabwe since they are all Africans. Any African who hears that knows how utterly ridiculous that sounds.

Furthermore, if you do a search on youtube of Palestinian dna results, I am yet to come across any Palestinian that does not have some Jewish ancestry. In fact, I am yet to come across anyone from Syria, Lebanon, and Jordan who do not have some Jewish ancestry.

Not only so, but European Jews have so mixed with Europeans that all traces of their ancestors’ Levant Jewish ancestry is gone, talk less of those who converted to Judaism, and have no Jewish or Levant ancestry whatsoever, and are still considered indigenous to Israel and have more rights than Palestinians, and get to go on ‘birthright’ trips to Israel, while Palestinians of whom the land is truly their birthright are denied access to their lands and are told that their ancestor is Ishmael and that they should move to Arab nations.

Now that we know that Palestinians are actually of Jewish ancestry to Palestine/Israel and are very indigenous to the land, some with roots going back at least 6000 years, I pray this puts an end to the denial of Palestinian rights to their homeland of Palestine/Israel. And that people will stop saying things like God gave Jewish people the land as if Palestinians are not of indigenous Levant Jewish ancestry

This brings me to the end of the expose. Please like this article and share it. Thank you

Always wait to hear the other side

October 31, 2023soladumiye Leave a comment

I have an ethos, a rule I live by: hear both sides before you make a judgement.

I decided to follow this ethos because I had seen enough situations where one side came out with allegations against one party, and their case looked believable only for the accused party to bring their side of the story and it turned out that the initial accuser was a liar.

One such case that comes to mind is that of a Nigerian influencer whose husband one day came on to social media to say that his wife was abusive and a cheater. This led to an onslaught of hatred against this woman, who made no response for several weeks. Then one day a video entered the social media sphere which showed, this supposed victim of a husband being abusive towards her and calling her names.

Soon the gaping cracks in his lies broke open. And it eventually came out that he had been cheating on his wife and was verbally and physically abusive towards her to the extent that she miscarried.

This case and others cemented it for me that I needed to hear both sides before making a judgement about anything.

But recently I have come across 2 situations where allegations were made. One of them was even on the news that one party did something bad. Now because something is on the news in such a big way, there were pictures, videos, family members crying, I automatically assumed it was true. Also the accused side had been demonized for years, so it was easy to believe any accusation against them even without proof.

In the other situation, I decided to stick to my ethos of waiting to hear both sides before I even watched the allegations.

However, I began to listen to people online discussing the allegations that were made. And one person stated that the accused did admit to the allegations on tape. Once again, if something is on tape, I just assumed it had to be true.

So I decided to finally listen to the allegations that were made in this second situation. There were receipts, it seemed. The person making the allegations seemed so forlorn and saddened. They didn’t sound like they were lying.

I also heard the accused person saying hurtful words and cussing. So slowly, I just accepted that the allegations were true.

Unbeknownst to me, I had already broken my ethos of : wait to hear both sides before making a judgement. I still wanted to hear the accused side of things, but my mind was 80% made up. Now, if you had asked me if I was balanced about the issue, I would have vigorously nodded.

Finally in both situations, the accused came out with their own version of events. Also in the case that was on the news, journalists spoke to witnesses at the event and a completely different story emerged.

I now had to reasses the judgements I had made. I went back to look at the receipts from the second situation and I saw that there were some obvious contradictions in those receipts.

Everything came full circle and I realized that I had judged those 2 situations without waiting to hear the other side. I had accepted the allegations as fact.

I was upset with myself because: I knew better. My ethos of hearing both sides before making a judgement was a check and balance that I put in place to protect myself from being duped and making wrong judgements. Yet I walked out of my ethos because the supposed facts looked too believable to be lies.

So I say all this to encourage us to hear both sides before making a judgement no matter how believable the first evidence looks. The first allegations may still be true or somewhat true, but one cannot say that until you hear the other side.

Let me know what you think. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this. And check out my books.

Books by Sefunmi Oladumiye

Dealing with Your Implicit Racism (For black people and anti-racism activists

Apostle Paul was a Feminist Vol 1

Would you have listened?

October 20, 2023October 20, 2023soladumiye Leave a comment

Image by Amna Sayeed from pixabay.com

When I was in 11th grade, a married couple that I liked split up. Their split rocked people and saddened me.

So I felt that surely something could be done to save their marriage, and the only person I knew who had this power was God if I prayed and fasted for their marriage.

I was an idealistic teenager on the cusp of adulthood, with a very limited understanding of life as you can imagine. The lives of others (celebrities the likes of Gwen Stefani and Zendaya) held much sway in my life since I wasn’t paying any bills or cooking. I had time and youthful exuberance on my hands. I felt like I could take on the world.

I was raised in a Nigerian church doctrine that which taught that God answered prayers if you prayed and fasted.

But I had heard some preaching about finding out God’s will before embarking or praying for things because If something was not God’s will, it would not happen, and you would waste your time and effort.

So I asked God a question: Jesus, can I pray and fast for this couple so that You bring them back together?

I waited a few seconds and after that I felt like God said “yes, yes”.

Why would God say no sef? God Himself said that He hates divorce. Obviously God would say yes.So it was confirmed. Yes, I could pray and fast for this couple to get back together.

So began my ~12 months journey of praying and fasting for this couple. I would pray (as a high school student) at 10 am, 12 pm, 3pm, and 6pm, going without food until 4pm-6pm.

I also kept away from any information about this ex couple that could hinder my faith. Unfortunately, in a moment of weakness, I read an article which reported that the ex husband was seeing someone else. This took my faith and plunged it to the depths of the sea of my heart because it meant that there was no hope of reconciliation between him and his ex wife.

But no, I encouraged myself.This was just one of those bumps they warn you about when you embark on your journey to success. Other bumps came, which I also brushed aside.

Keep the faith Sefunmi, don’t give up. So I did.

I set a date for when God would answer to my prayers, which was like a year after I started praying and fasting.

On the set date, nothing happened. Two days later, this ex husband and the woman who I assured myself he was not seeing announced that she had just given birth to his baby.

I was shocked. Angry at God. My heart felt sick because hope deferred makes the heart sick and eventually bitter. How could this happen after all the praying and fasting I did?

God TOLD me I could pray and fast. God cannot lie, so this cannot be true. In fact, it was false. That ex husband and the ‘not his girlfriend’ woman were not the real people. They were kidnappers impersonating them.

I loosely held on to this delusion for a few days, and then let it go because it was TOO far fetched.

I accepted reality. I was angry at God.

Eventually I put aside my hurt and pain into a box of painful unanswered prayers that resided in my heart and moved on with my faith in God.

At university, I came across a teaching by Andrew Wommack, in which he explained that God cannot answer certain prayers that go against a person’s free will, for example reconciliation between a couple. All He can do is to put thoughts in their minds that encourage reconciliation. But they could choose not to get back together.

“Ohhhhhhh”, I thought. So God couldn’t have brought that couple back together.

“But God why did You allow me to pray and fast to You for basically a year for something You couldn’t directly change?”

And this is what God whispered back to me in the inaudible voice of my heart :

“If I had told you no, would you have listened?”

I didn’t need to contemplate that question. I knew the answer immediately:

No, I would not have listened.In fact, I would have thought it was the devil trying to steal my faith.Looking back, I saw that I quickly fabricated a ‘yes’ in my my head because it was what I wanted.

I always try to understand why I made certain mistakes in my life so I had to ask myself why I embarked on such a mission. I concluded that there were 3 reasons:

1. Ignorance. I was ignorant about how God answered prayers that involve free will.

2. Isolation. I never told anyone about what I was about to embark on and I had no mentor to wisely and compassionately advise me about it. I isolated myself from readily available information that could have shown me that the ex husband’s girlfriend was pregnant and that he was always with her. There was no chat gpt back then to check things.

3. My ego, pride/arrogance, and stubborness. I believe that this was the main issue. I was saddened by their break up, and my sadness and my desires for them was all that mattered. Their desires and free will did not even enter the equation. Even if I had a mentor, would I have listened?

So I write all this to say:

“Would you have listened?”

Whatever is going on in your life, whatever opinions you hold, if you’re about to embark on something, if someone was to advise you with a “no”, would you listen or would you allow your ignorance to lead you down a wrong path? Are you isolated such that no one knows what you’re going through? And do you have a heart of stone such that you hold on to your opinions so tightly, thinking you are always right, and therefore no matter what anyone says, you would never change your mind?

Let my mistake as an 11/12th grader be an example to you.

Would you have listened?

Books by Sefunmi Oladumiye

Dealing with Your Implicit Racism (For black people and anti-racism activists

Apostle Paul was a Feminist Vol 1

The politics of making a scene: Why I support Will Smith Part 3

April 22, 2022April 22, 2022soladumiye Leave a comment

During the 2022 Oscars, Will Smith slapped the Chris Rock, a presenter, in front of a live audience and swore at him. This was quite a scene as you can imagine. Everyone was talking about this huge scene Will Smith made. People who weren’t interested in the Oscars tuned in to find out what the whole situation was about, me included. In the process, I found out about the others that won.

This scene overshadowed everything at that moment, including Will Smith’s first Oscar for best actor, Jessica Chastain’s win as best actress, Samuel L. Jackson’s first Oscar (that man has majestically played many fantastic roles for decades), the first African American man to produce the Oscars, and even how beautiful Lupita looked in her dress and hairstyle. Jessica Chastain’s dress was also lovely.

In part 1 of this write up, I spoke about how when one is in a tense situation, the choices available to us shrink to fight or flight, and sometimes people just freeze. What Will Smith did was shocking, it was jarring, it was unexpected, it was off-script, and it was quite a scene. Scenes like this make people uncomfortable. It has been said that people are angrier at the scene that was caused than they are about the actual slap.

People have criticized the Academy for not kicking Will Smith out and some people in the audience giving him a standing ovation when he won. To these critics, I would ask that you put yourselves in their position. The live audience was also in shock, they were processing what had happened, and in the process of processing, they just kept going. Kicking Will Smith out would also have created a scene for them.

For those who genuinely gave him a standing ovation: Thank you. Will Smith was deserving of that award for his portrayal in King Richard.

There is no playbook for how to react to a scene.

Society has taught us that making a scene is bad. Don’t shout in public. Don’t get angry in public, it’s unsightly. And most important of all: don’t show violence in public.

My sister once told me: “it doesn’t matter who is at fault, if people see someone shouting, angry, using violence, basically making a scene, they will automatically assume that the person making the scene is at fault.

I believe what my sister said is true.

People will always think: was there a better way you could have handled it without making a scene?

In this article, I will like to dismantle the idea that making a scene is always bad, and speak about how I strongly believe that sometimes you have to make a scene.

When making a scene is bad.
First off, I want to say that I don’t believe that making a scene is always right. Just like I don’t believe using violence is always right, even if the violence is a slap. There are some situations where making as scene is just unnecessary, dangerous, taxing, thoughtless, and selfish.

In Part 2 of this series, Why I support Will Smith, Why women need to be protected, I mentioned that if Chris Rock had made this joke about Will Smith, and if he had been going after Will Smith for decades like he had Jada Pinkett Smith, I would never approve of Will Smith slapping Chris Rock. Since they are both men, they both have physical strength at their disposal, and they know it, so they are evenly matched. Therefore, the use of force will not necessarily achieve anything. In that scenario, I would expect Will Smith to find another way to deal with the harassment without using violence or making a scene.
I think you have to weigh each situation. What is the purpose of you making a scene? Is the purpose of more value than the consequences?

When making a scene is ok
So why do I believe that you sometimes have to make a scene?

It’s because I have observed that abuse thrives on silence.

And one of the best times for abusive things to happen is at a moment where people will be hyper conscious against making a scene, so the abuse will be allowed to happen without protest.

Therefore, you can sometimes stop abuse by making a scene.

Let me give an example: During the 2003 Oscars, Halle Berry, who had won best actress the year before, presented the Oscar for best actor to Adrian Brody. Upon receiving the statue, Adrian Brody grabbed Halle Berry (who was at that time married to Eric Benet) and kissed her on the mouth.

Halle Berry looked shocked and then laughed, people kept clapping for Adrian Brody and that was that. People talked about it, parodied it, and even to this day, it is written about with words like ‘a passionate kiss’.

But what happened here to Halle Berry was assault. It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t fair or right. She didn’t ask for this.

In 2017, Halle Berry was asked about what was going through her mind during the kiss, and these were her exact words:

“What the f—k is happening right now? That was what was going through my mind. And because I was there the year before and I know the feeling of being out of your body, I just f-king went with it.”

If this was what she was actually thinking, why didn’t she slap Adrian Brody afterwards? She couldn’t push him off of her during that ‘passionate kiss’ because you could see that he was physically stronger than her. But afterwards, why did she follow-up her shocked expression with a laugh?

I think she laughed it off because she was in shock and she chose: flight instead of fight. She chose to not make a scene. How could she show her displeasure without making a scene? Adrian Brody had just won. Actors in the audience were actually standing up and clapping for him. This was his moment.

If she had slapped him or angrily pushed him away and marched off the stage like she had the right to, it would have been a massive scene. It would have overshadowed the entire night and the other winners including Adrian Brody’s win. And what would have been the consequences for her, the victim? Do you think people would have been understanding?
I don’t think so. And I don’t think so because of how this ‘kiss’ is still written about today. Well known publications don’t call it an assault, but Will Smith slapping Chris Rock is termed assault.

I believe people would have felt more uncomfortable if Halle Berry had responded with anger.

The Academy, which apologized to Chris Rock for Will Smith slapping him, has not to my knowledge publicly apologized to Halle Berry. I also don’t know if Adrian Brody has apologized as well.

If Halle Berry had made a scene, I believe people would have said something along these lines:

‘Oh it was just a kiss, why did you have to react that way and spoil the moment?’

‘I would have been flattered if Adrian Brody kissed me. It means he finds me attractive. Why did you have to get so touchy [the irony] and ruin his moment?’

‘Why couldn’t you just go along with it without making a scene?’

‘I mean, you’re an actress, you get paid to kiss people, what’s so wrong with him kissing you?’

As an actress, Halle Berry chooses a script, spends time crafting her character, and is paid to act a character that kisses other people. The key word here is: ‘paid’. Who paid her for that kiss on the Oscar’s stage? What character was she playing on that stage?

How do you think Eric Benet, Halle Berry’s husband at that time, felt watching this unfold? If he had gotten up and slapped Adrian Brody, making an even bigger scene, do you think it would have been justified? Do you think people would have accepted his violence?

I don’t think so at all. I think if Eric Benet had gotten up and slapped Adrian Brody, the Academy would have apologized to Adrian Brody.

Now let’s flip the colours here.

If Angelina Jolie had been the one presenting the award, and she was still married to Brad Pitt, and the person she was presenting the award to was a black actor. And this black actor proceeded to do what Adrian Brody did to Halle Berry. How would you react and feel about it? How do you think the audience would have reacted? If Angelina Jolie made a scene and angrily hit this black actor and marched off the stage, would that kiss be described as passionate years later? If Brad Pitt had gotten up and slapped this black actor, would you be understanding of it? Would you condone his hypothetical violence?

I think Halle Berry, like many people who are put in similar situations, had to accept this abuse of her body rather than make a scene. She had to give up her human dignity for the comfort of the audience and the preservation of that moment. I only have empathy for her for making this decision, and I would also have empathy for her if she or her husband had decided to slap Adrian Brody.

I remember reading an article about this kiss during my teenage days, and Adrian Brody kissing her was presented like a testament to her beauty. So I will also admit that in the past, had she or Eric Benet made a scene, I would have tried to think of a better way she or Eric Benet could have handled it without making a scene. I would have felt more uncomfortable with them making a scene than with them going along with it.

Halle Berry was put in this situation. It wasn’t fair to her. And I think she was put in this situation because Adrian Brody believed that he would get away with it. She is a non-white woman (not to say that he wouldn’t have done it to some white women, but not white women of Halle Berry’s A list status). I don’t think he would have done this to Nicole Kidman (married to Tom Cruise) or Julia Roberts. I don’t think he would have gotten away with it, and I think unconsciously, he knew that.

He did it because he believed he would get away with it because of the situation and the social position of the person he was assaulting.

And that is why I believe sometimes you have to make a scene. Because making a scene in that moment will reinforce your human dignity and curb the desire by anyone else to repeat the abusive actions. It will prevent more abuse from happening.

Chris Rock and getting away with harassment
So what does this have to do with the whole Chris Rock/Will Smith slap situation? You may say: ‘in this situation, Will Smith was the one who assaulted Chris Rock, it was Chris Rock’s dignity that was at stake.’

In Part 2 of this series, I explained that it was actually Jada Pinkett Smith human dignity that was at stake, you can go and read that here.

I believe that Will Smith was also put in the same position as Halle Berry. He had to choose: the human dignity of his wife who has been harassed over a period of 30 years or the comfort of the audience and his reputation. And he chose his wife’s human dignity.

This is a post by Kwaisi France that I found on Facebook as I was researching for this series:

Chris Rock believed that he would get away with targeting Jada Pinkett Smith again.

You see the Oscars had allowed their stage to be used to attack Jada Pinkett Smith in 2016 when Chris Rock, the host, insulted her. What he said about her during the 2016 Oscars was not a joke, it was an insult. It was like those playground ‘your mama’ insults. Did the Oscars approve of that insult……? Because why was Chris Rock able to say it?

Jada Pinkett Smith had been ‘making a nuisance’ of herself with #Oscarssowhite and calls to boycott the Oscars. I don’t think they were too endeared towards her because of this. And so I think that they unknowingly got involved in a form of harassment that had spanned decades. And because they allowed Chris Rock to use their platform to target Jada Pinkett Smith in 2016, Chris Rock probably felt he could use their platform again in 2022 and get away with it.

Only he didn’t.

It’s interesting, people have spoken about the prestige of the Oscars and how what Will Smith did lowered the standards of the Oscars (people have rightfully pointed out the hypocrisy of that statement). However, I think that by allowing Chris Rock to make that insult at Jada Pinkett Smith in 2016 on their stage, they lowered their standards themselves. If you want playground insults/disses to be launched from your platform and be called comedy, then be prepared to have the same prestige as a playground. Fights break out on playgrounds. In fact, when that 2016 insult was made, a twitter user named @ja_s_on made a tweet that said: “Will Smith has to punch Chris Rock in the face….He has no choice”.

So even random people on twitter implicitly recognized that the Oscars had lost its prestige for that 2016 Jada Pinkett Smith insult.

Nevertheless, while I have now written 3 articles explaining why I support Will Smith, please understand that I also understand that there are consequences for Will Smith’s actions. People will not accept violence being used as a retaliation to insults in many societies, especially when few people knew the backstory. Will Smith made a choice to stop the harassment of his wife by Chris Rock by using violence and interrupting the show, and there is a price to pay for that.

There can be debate about the harshness of the consequences (Will Smith has been banned for 10 years from attending the Oscars, and people are criticizing and hating on him, his wife, and kids), but I won’t debate that there be no consequences from the Academy because firstly, I understand that organizations have something called A Code of Conduct (what is acceptable in their venue and what is not acceptable). And I respect every organization’s right define to their code of conduct. And Will Smith broke their code.

So I would advise him to take the penalty with his head held high and to not be ashamed. You did what you did out of a God-given desire to protect your family, and your family have a right to be protected by you, whether it fits the code of conduct of the Oscars or makes a scene.

Secondly, I personally know that making a scene can cost you.

There was a time in my life when I made a scene. I shouted at someone. I was standing up for my rights. It cost me. I apologized in that situation, but I regret that apology because I knew that I wasn’t wrong. However, the condemnation that I felt from others for making the scene was enough pressure to cause me to apologize.

It took some time, but eventually people began to see my own side of things and to recognize the wrong that was done to me that led me to make a scene.

On the bright side, me making that scene caused the troublemaker to be removed. You see, many times when you make a scene, the abuse/troublemaker has to stop. Yes, you may still be hated on for making the scene, and the perpetrator may act like they are the victims in the situation, but they won’t try their abuse/troublemaking again and/or people around will not tolerate them repeating their trouble.

Some women have said that they would be so embarrassed if their husbands responded the way Will Smith did. I understand this sentiment because I acknowledge that making a scene can make people feel uncomfortable, including the person being defended. However, given the back story in this situation and my own experiences with being protected/unprotected, I know that the benefits/the security that come from making a scene to protect a loved one is worth more than the benefits of not feeling embarrassed.

I also believe that the Oscars need to take some responsibility here and make the necessary changes. And you know what? I think they will. I think that slap by Will Smith has also jolted some wisdom into them. From now on, I think they will have a contract that forbids their presenters/hosts from going off script by making unapproved ‘jokes’. I think that they will have a policy that says: no attacking/insulting/making ‘jokes’ about the appearance of any wife of a celebrity in the live audience especially if their husbands will be present.

These will all be wise decisions. Decisions that will be brought about because Will Smith decided to make a scene. And I believe that other award shows that hold themselves up to some level of prestige as the Oscars will do the same. So in this area, women can rest easy now as they get ready for the Oscars and other award shows because they know that no one will try to humiliate them for their appearance on stage especially if their husbands are present.

Another thing I want to highlight is how some people have said that making fun of Jada Pinkett Smith’s bald head was just a joke, that people are too touchy nowadays, that Jada Pinkett Smith had said in the past that she doesn’t care what people say about her bald head, that people make bald head jokes at men all the time, alopecia is not that serious, and Chris Rock didn’t know she had alopecia.

Ok…….. So I want to explain some things to the people who have said these things.

Firstly, Jada Pinkett Smith cares what people have to say about her bald head, any statement from her claiming otherwise is a defence mechanism to deal with the pain and grief she feels about losing her hair (and if you look at her pictures in the past, you will see that she had a lovely head of hair).

In Hollywood, Los Angeles, the appearance of celebrities (and of people just living in that area), is very important to them, especially to the women. Many, many female celebrities have had plastic surgery (some men as well). No judgement. Do you seriously think Jada Pinkett Smith doesn’t care about what people have to say about her bald head when she lives in an appearance obsessed society?

Wig imports in the USA in 2019 were valued at $758 million. The hair care industry in 2022 amounts to $13.31 billion, and the year is not even half over. Why would women spend so much money on something that means nothing to them? What Jada Pinkett Smith said about not caring is exactly how we say we don’t care what people think, but then spend 2 weeks thinking about what they said.

Unfortunately, it has been socially acceptable to mock men for being bald or balding. And from the research I have done (just a quick search on google lol), I see that most men (I would say 99.9%) do not want to go bald/be balding. So if this is how men feel, how much more devastated do women feel about losing their hair since women are judged more harshly for their appearance?

The appearance/beauty, including the hair type, hair colour and hair length, of many women has played a factor in bumping them up from one class level to another. Seriously. That’s why the hair industry for women is that big. Why do you think many white women dye their hair blonde?

Society places a man’s worth more in his wealth, even in his physique, than in how much hair is on his head. Nevertheless, men do still feel bad about losing their hair.

Chris Rock knowing or not knowing Jada Pinkett Smith had alopecia is irrelevant. Chris Rock, an African-American man, made a documentary called Good Hair where he learnt first-hand how massively important (if he didn’t know before) hair is to African-American women. That ‘joke’ was a dig, not a joke.

Finally, on the same post by Kwaisi France, Mr. France stated in at least 2 comments that Chris Rock actually apologized to the Smiths for this ‘dig’ during the Oscars after party.

So in conclusion, I know some people have been tired of hearing about this slap story. However, the reason I decided to write 3 articles about it was because I saw it as a stepping stone to speak about important societal issues such as: harassment, when violence is needed, the need for women to be protected, why we shouldn’t be quick to condemn people who make scenes, and the insensitivity towards male baldness.

If you’re interested, I have written 2 books you can buy here:

Dealing with Your Implicit Racism (For black people and anti-racism activists) – I teach black people and others how to fight and win against their own anti-blackness.

http://goo.gl/fntWxf

Apostle Paul was a Feminist Vol 1– Using the ‘misogynistic verses’ written by Apostle Paul in the Bible, I prove that Paul was a Feminist.

https://amzn.to/3AX0q0J

Why I support Will Smith Part 2: Why women need to be protected.

April 8, 2022April 8, 2022soladumiye 1 Comment

During the 2022 Oscars, Will Smith slapped Chris Rock, a presenter, in front of a live audience and swore at him because Chris Rock made a dig at Jada Pinkett Smith. This was the second time that Chris Rock used the Oscar platform to throw digs at Jada Pinkett Smith.

People have been outraged at Will Smith’s actions, and one of the recurring condemnations against Will Smith is that violence is not the answer.

In Part 1 of Why I support Will Smith, I showed how Chris Rock has been targeting Jada Pinkett Smith in his comedy since 1997, and how I believe Will Smith had warned Chris Rock to stop targeting his wife. I also pointed out that Will Smith is not a violent man, and had probably tried to deal with this situation non-violently for a long time.

In part 2 of this 3 part series, I want to elaborate more on why I feel like the violence (the slap) in this situation was ok.

Why was the slap ok?
As I have thought on Will Smith slapping Chris Rock during the Oscars, I have questioned myself about whether my opinion is the correct one. Something in me has to ask: was there a better way he could have handled it without the violence?

But first, I recognize that by slapping Chris Rock and not punching him, Will Smith was not trying to beat up/beat down Chris Rock. It was done to humiliate, not to injure. And I respect that.

However, sometimes my mind thinks that that slap was unnecessary, he could have done things differently and in a more ‘mature way’. In fact, if Chris Rock had been harassing Will Smith publicly under the guise of comedy for years, I would never approve of Will Smith slapping him and making a scene. I would expect Will Smith to find another way to deal with that harassment without using violence.

However, the moment I bring Will Smith’s wife, a woman, into the equation, everything rearranges itself, and I have to condone that slap.

The reality of being a woman in this world
Now I want you to listen carefully, especially if you are a young woman.

Do you know why women have been subjugated throughout history for thousands of years up to the present day? Why is it in every culture woman have been and are still oppressed? Women have been married off for centuries without their consent, denied the right to make their own decisions for their lives, forced to cover themselves and their hair as if they don’t have the right to their own bodies (if you cover your body/hair by choice please keep in mind that for many women, it is not their choice to cover up/cover their hair. In fact, in some countries how women should dress is enshrined in the law, choice or no choice), kicked off their husbands’ properties penniless and kids in tow by their in-laws if the husband dies, etc. I won’t name every single oppression women have faced and continue to face or you will be here all day.

But let me ask you this? Why aren’t men oppressed in the same way? Why aren’t 9 year old boys married off to women who are old enough to be their grandmothers? Why?

Women have been subjugated throughout history because men know that they are physically stronger than women.

Women have not been subjugated throughout history because men are stronger than women. No. It is because men know that they are physically stronger than women, that is why women have been oppressed.

Knowledge is power.

Do you know why 9 year old boys are not married off to women who are old enough to be their grandmothers? It’s because society knows that when that 9 year old boy hits puberty, his body will get bigger and stronger. He will be much stronger than that ‘grandmother’ he is married to. And that grandmother will not be able to physically stop him if he decides to do whatever the heck he wants. If he attacks her, what can she do? She cannot physically stop him. If he decides to leave, what can she do? She cannot physically stop him from doing anything he wants. This is why some single mothers have problems with their teenage sons.

Whereas, when a 9 year old girl who is married off to a ‘grandfather’ hits puberty, her body will get bigger, but it will not become stronger than a man’s. That grandfather will still be physically stronger than her. He can still physically restrain her. She cannot physically attack him because both he and she know that he can cause more injury to her than she could cause to him.

You cannot dictate to a man how he should dress or that he should cover his hair and try to enforce it. If you try, he can attack you, and you could get seriously hurt. It is not worth the hassle.

On the other hand, countries and families that dictate to women that they must cover up and they must do this and that, do so because they know that a woman cannot physically attack them and win when they enforce their laws on her.

And women know that they are not stronger than men. They know violence is not a card they can pull out of their arsenal, so they don’t even consider getting violent when they are oppressed.

Men, on the other hand, know that violence is a card they and other men have within their arsenal, and that they can pull out any time they want. Therefore, men don’t try to control other men. In fact, men are afraid of men.

Haven’t you heard true stories of men who abuse their wives only to stop when their sons hit puberty because their sons physically threaten or even attack them?

This knowledge dictates all of our behaviours as men and women. From a young age, your brain has already logged in to every action you make where men and women are concerned the knowledge that men are stronger than women and that men can respond with violence. Whether men actually respond with violence is irrelevant, it is the potential of violence that deters.

Therefore, there are non-violent things (like targeted digs over the space of 20 plus years) that men will not do or say to other men, but they are emboldened to do to women because they know that women will 99.9% of the time not respond with violence. And in the extremely rare occasion that she does use violence, she cannot overpower the man.

The reason I told young women to listen carefully to this part of my article is because I was in my late 20s/early 30s when I understood this, and I know some of you may not know this. This understanding came after I got physically attacked in public by a man.

This man was stocky, shorter than me (I’m not even 5’9), and he walked with a very pronounced limp in one leg. It looked like a disability from birth. He tripped and blamed me because I was next to him and he couldn’t take it out on the taxi driver that caused him to trip. So he hit me on the head with his fist, picked up my glasses that fell to the ground as a result of his assault and threw it into the middle of the road where there was incoming traffic. His anger assuaged, he calmly walked to the side and waited for another taxi. Some people then came to ask me if I was ok, a nearby man included. This man spoke harshly to the man who attacked me, but no one did anything to him. I think they were afraid. I too was afraid, I couldn’t attack him back. So I walked away.

I was very upset. I cried throughout the day. And I experienced post-traumatic stress for some days afterwards (I got angry at things that normally wouldn’t faze me). My mind wouldn’t let go of the fact that this man calmly walked to the side after assaulting me. He wasn’t afraid of retribution. He remained at the crime scene. And even though there were a few men around, not one of them stepped up to him to rough him up for assaulting a woman.

Then the revelation came to me: men know that they are physically stronger than women.
And because men know this, it will dictate how they treat women.

Women are in a very vulnerable position in this world. That is just the nature of things. Women are harassed in many ways that we have just grown to accept as women. And some forms of harassment are not illegal, so they can continue unabated because men know that women can’t fight back with violence.

So what is the solution? How are women going to be protected from not just physical assault, but also other forms of harassment from men?

Since men are afraid of other men, since the violence that men have in their arsenal is what deters men from harassing other men, one solution is that men will have to stand up for women. Men will have to use that violence that they have to intimidate or attack other men in the defence of women.

Some of you will say that: ‘You feminists say that you’re equal to men and here you are saying that men should protect women. You should protect yourselves.’

It is because I believe men and women are equal that I believe men should protect women from other men. With power comes responsibility, not license to oppress. Men have their strength, and women have the ability to bring a male/female child into this world, something that men will never be able to do. Men and women need each other. Without physical women, the world would die out. We can preserve the man’s sperm so that a woman doesn’t need a man actually present to get pregnant, but without a physical woman to carry a baby in her womb, men can never bring a child into this world. This too is the nature of things. There are sperm banks, but there are no womb banks.

Some men will not stop harassing women unless violence is used because for some people, violence or the threat of violence is the only language they understand in this area.

And this slap incident at the Oscars proves this point. I have heard many men, who have commented about Will Smith’s slap, praise Chris Rock for his restraint. I even listened to a male body language expert who showed that Chris Rock almost instinctively fought back but in a split second restrained himself. This expert also praised Chris Rock’s restraint.

So let’s break this down: Chris Rock restrained himself when confronted with unexpected violence from a man.

On the other hand, despite all the preparations and rehearsals, Chris Rock looked into that Oscar crowd, saw Jada Pinkett Smith, a woman, and couldn’t restrain himself, broke protocol and threw an unscripted dig at her.

Who is holding Chris Rock accountable for lacking control where Jada Pinkett Smith was concerned?

‘Oh, get over it, it was just a joke’.

So harassment of women is something we should get over? It’s no big deal? But a man restraining himself towards another man is such a big deal?

As a woman, don’t let anyone, especially men, deceive you that women don’t need the protection of men from other men. Who do you think benefits if you as a woman believe that women shouldn’t be protected by men?

It’s men, it’s not women.

Even though Will Smith is the one that slapped Chris Rock, who has taken equal share and in some cases the majority of the blame? It’s Jada Pinkett Smith. Go and read what people are saying about her. They blame her. Yet what exactly did she do? Please tell me what she did on that Oscar night?

‘Jada has emasculated Will publicly.’
‘Jada has humiliated Will publicly.’
‘Jada has embarrassed Will publicly.’
‘Jada controls Will.’
‘Jada cheated on Will.’

Did she do any of that on that night that you have proof of?

What all of these statements/sentiments are basically saying is that Jada Pinkett Smith owes her husband certain behaviours.

And what does Will Smith owe his wife? Protection from a man harassing her?

‘No, no, no, no. Jada doesn’t need protection. She is a strong, independent woman who can handle herself.’

Isn’t Will Smith also a strong, independent man who can handle himself?

Have your eyes opened now? Do you see the hypocrisy here? Do you see how society allows men to skirt their responsibility, but throws the encyclopaedia at the woman? She must do this for him! She must do that for him! And what must he do for her? Nothing. And are we going to equate Will Smith’s physical strength to her physical strength?

Dear women and men, don’t be deceived. Don’t think that this is just about Jada Pinkett Smith and that what Will Smith did there was about protecting her ‘honour’. Don’t support the harassment of women just because you don’t like one woman. Go talk to women who have had stalkers or been harassed and they couldn’t do anything about it. The day may come (God forbid!) when people also criticize the choices you make in your personal life and so feel that you being harassed by men is justified.

My sister was verbally harassed by men almost every day for over 10 years (My sister is petite and dark skinned, and we lived in an openly anti-black city). 45%-50% of the time, those verbal attacks turned violent. She told me that one time when she was with a male friend, a man wanted to start his verbal/physical harassment of her, not knowing that the man next to her was with her. When this would-be attacker realized this fact, he course corrected and did not approach my sister. I wonder why.

Please understand how thoughtlessly cruel and insidious (that means: “proceeding in a gradual, subtle way, but with very harmful effects”) it is for any man to say that Jada Pinkett Smith shouldn’t have been protected with violence (a slap mind you) when men have violence at their disposal. And the violence at their disposal is what protects them from experiencing what Jada Pinkett Smith and other women have experienced.

This is like someone who has a stash of guns preaching that people shouldn’t own guns to protect themselves.

Men are not subjected to the same harassments that women face from other men just because of the possibility, I cannot stress this enough, the possibility of them using the violence at their disposal.

How many men carry pepper spray? How many men get attacked verbally by women for rejecting their catcalls? How many men will refuse to enter a bus if it is filled with only women? How many men are afraid of women walking behind them? How many men learn self-defence to protect themselves from women attacking them? I could go on and on about the ways in which women have had to deal with the harassment and violence meted out to them by men just because men know that women cannot respond with violence. And I ask: why do we accept this as normal and what Will Smith did as abnormal ?

Who benefits from this idea that violence is never the answer? Who benefits from the idea a husband shouldn’t use violence to protect his wife from persistent non-violent harassment?

Men, of course. Because that would now mean that men who seek to bully women can now target married women as well as single women if we shame husbands for using violence to protect their wives. And make no mistake, some men do not want to lose any power they have over women, single or married.

Some men sit by and watch women get harassed by other men, and they say or do nothing, it’s normal. But when a man finally stands up for his wife using violence, they open their mouths to condemn.

Who is disadvantaged by the idea that violence is never the answer? Women of course, because women need violence to be protected and to protect themselves.

Jada Pinkett Smith is a woman whether you like her or not; she is vulnerable; Chris Rock targeting her in his comedy has been going on since 1997. Is she the only actress available to mock?

Some random man doesn’t owe me anything, but a husband does owe his wife his protection. It is the husband’s God given mandate/responsibility to physically protect his wife, to let other men know that he is willing to use violence to protect her (Yay Will Smith!), because some men will try to test the boundaries.

And I think because Will Smith is not a violent guy, and because he had probably tried to solve this issue non-violently for years, Chris Rock thought that Jada Pinkett Smith was free game.

When I first heard about this whole slap situation, my first thought was why did Chris Rock take a dig at Jada Pinkett Smith in front of her husband, Will Smith? Doesn’t he know as a man that you don’t come for another man’s wife, especially not in front of the husband?

But he does know this. Every man knows this. So why did he do it?

The answer to this question will be in the final article in this series: Why I support Will Smith Part 3: The politics of making a scene. In it, I will discuss people’s aversion to scenes and why making a scene is sometimes necessary.

Let me close by encouraging you to read the Bible book of Proverbs, chapter 26. There are many sayings in that chapter that apply to this whole Will Smith / Chris Rock Oscar situation, but I will just list a few here:

Verse 18-19: Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbour and says, “I was only joking!”

Verse 24-26: A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbours deceit. Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart. His malice may be concealed by deception, but his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.

Also read the story in the Bible book of John, Chapter 8, verses 1-11. There is something about the way Jada Pinkett Smith has been treated that is similar to that story.

If you’re interested, I have written 2 books you can buy here:

Dealing with Your Implicit Racism (For black people and anti-racism activists) – I teach black people and others how to fight and win against their own anti-blackness.

http://goo.gl/fntWxf

Apostle Paul was a Feminist Vol 1– Using the ‘misogynistic verses’ written by Apostle Paul in the Bible, I prove that Paul was a Feminist.

https://amzn.to/3AX0q0J

WHY I SUPPORT WILL SMITH. Part 1

April 2, 2022April 22, 2022soladumiye 8 Comments

So for those who don’t know, during the 2022 Oscars, Chris Rock, a presenter for the show, made a nasty dig, sorry I mean, a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s hairstyle (she was bald) as he was presenting.

Will Smith then got up and slapped Chris Rock in the mouth, sat down and shouted at Chris to: “Keep my wife’s name out of your F…mouth”.

This of course has caused a lot of talk and a lot of condemnation for Will Smith and a lot of praise for Chris Rock for how he kept his cool and didn’t hit Will Smith back. And strangely enough, but not surprising, a lot of condemnation for Jada Pinkett Smith, who did nothing wrong in this entire situation, but sat and took a nasty dig at a world event by a comedian that has made nasty digs about her in the past also at the same big world event.

“This is assault.”

“Violence is the never the answer.”

“I do not condone any form of violence.”

“Will Smith could have handled this better.”

“Will Smith was out of control.”

“Will was actually laughing at first, but when he saw Jada’s face, she made him do it.”

“Will feels emasculated, that’s why he did this, to prove his masculinity after his wife’s ‘entanglement’.”

“Jada is such an embarrassment, she controls Will.”

“Chris Rock did not know Jada had alopecia.”

“Comedians shouldn’t be assaulted for a joke!”

“This has brought black people back so much, on a night when black people were given an opportunity to shine. What Will did was wrong.”

These have been the exact phrases and variant forms of phrases that have been said about this whole situation, and in this write up and I am going to tackle them and more and explain why I support Will Smith in this whole situation.

Violence is never the answer.

The statements, “violence is never the answer”, and “I don’t condone any form of violence” is a delusional statement that has no basis in reality. It’s a moralizing statement of people far moved from reality. It’s a half truth that has tried to present itself as the whole truth, so it’s a lie.

What does self-defence look like? Tell me. When someone defends themselves against violence or an aggressor, what does that look like? I know people will quickly say, “That’s different. What Will Smith did here was not self-defence”. But please just answer the question, what does self-defence look like?

Self-defence can very often be a form of violence. If a woman is about to be raped and she takes a stick and whacks it on the head of the would-be rapist……is that not a form of violence?

When the USA got independence from Britain, what did they do to achieve it? There was a war, if you don’t know. War is one of the highest forms of violence. Was that in the name of self-defence? No, I would not term the American independence war a war of self-defence. In fact, the white people in the States who wanted independence from Britain were treated as human beings. Their treatment was nowhere in the realm of what other African, Asian, & Caribbean countries endured to get their independence from European countries. The American Independence war was a war for self-determination, and it was violent if you don’t know.

The American Civil War, was that a war of self-defence? When Southern States seceded from the Union of American States. That civil war was fought to bring those Southern States back into the Union. Did the American Union of States have the right to use the violence they did to bring back those Southern States? I think many people will say, “Yes, they did.”

There is a true story about the last Africans to be brought to a slave plantation in the USA. One time, when they were in the fields picking cotton, an overseer felt that one of the African women was not moving fast enough, so he put his whip on her. The African men who were there, stopped their work, grabbed the whip from the overseer, and gave him a whipping. And then they told him to never touch their women again. Tell me, was that self-defence? No, that wasn’t self-defence. That was teaching someone a lesson type of violence. Do you disagree with what those African men did? I think not.

Finally, I have been in a situation where I was in the back seat of a car with a drunk driver who proceeded to hit another car and then tried to flee the scene with me in the back seat. I chose to use violence to prevent this driver from fleeing the scene, and I would do it again. And by the way, at the time, I didn’t know he was drunk.

So you see, sometimes violence is the answer. Most people condone some forms of violence. So please let’s stop using those delusional and hypocritical phrases about “I don’t condone any form of violence” and “violence is never the answer”. If you like, say instead: “In this situation, I don’t think violence was the answer.” And also recognize that others can also say, “I think the violence used in this situation was ok.”

What should Will Smith have done?

Now that we have established that some forms of violence are condoned. Let’s talk about how Will Smith could have handled this situation.

I have heard many takes on the different things Will Smith could have done. One of them stood out to me. Someone said that Will Smith could have kissed his wife Jada, and lovingly rubbed her head after Chris Rock made that dig on her.

That is so romantic. I really like that idea. Others said that Will Smith could have walked out, or dealt with it afterwards.

I want to commend all of these people who have thoughtfully presented great ideas on what Will Smith could have/should have done. Y’all are very creative and full of great ideas.

However, let me tell you something about your great and creative ideas: when you are in a tense situation, none of your wonderful ideas come to mind.

What often happens is that your mind presents you with just 2 options: fight or flight, and sometimes you mind doesn’t present you any option, you just freeze.

When I was a student, I once accidently set a dustbin on fire. What extremely simple idea should have come to my mind in that situation? Put out the fire right?

Wrong. I froze and stared in horror at the fire leaping up from the trash can. I started trembling and ran back into a classroom to call for help from a friend. Two heads are better than one right? Surely, she would know how to put out a fire.

Wrong again. This friend stared in horror as well. And then finally an idea came to her. My friend, bless her kind heart, told me to knock the trash can to the ground as a means of putting out the fire.

Apparently, that solution doesn’t put out fires. In fact, the fire rolled out of the trash can along with the papers in it and continued burning.

Finally, an idea got through the shock in my mind and body, and the idea of using water came to mind just as my friend proposed the same idea. So we ran to a nearby tap. Yes, you read that correctly, there had been a nearby tap all along. And we looked around for something to carry water. We found a wide flat object and turned on the tap. A part of my mind told me that flat objects don’t hold water, but we kept going anyways. I think you know what happened next. The water spilled out before we reached the dustbin.

My senses gradually came back, and I finally looked around for a container, we found one, and we put out the fire.I tell you this story to enlighten you that it is very easy to say what someone should have done in a situation, until you are in a similar situation yourself, and then you will be less condemning of the decisions people make in tense situations.

I am not saying that you can’t judge an action as right or wrong, I’m just saying that we can do so without condemning the person. We can do so with some grace towards that person recognizing that good ideas don’t always come in tense situations. I believe that it takes God’s intervention in those tense moments, for you to have a great idea even come to mind.

People have said that Will Smith was actually laughing at the joke at first, but then he saw that ‘heifer’ Jada’s face, and then she commanded him to slap Chris Rock.

I don’t believe that’s possible for 2 reasons. The first reason is because I have had people say insulting things to me and I have smiled at them as they said it, until a couple of seconds later when my mind finished processing what was actually said. Even after my mind processed the insult, I didn’t know how to react, so I kept smiling.

How many black people have laughed along to racist jokes or smiled at micro-aggressions until a few minutes or 2 days later their minds process the insult?

Nevertheless, I don’t think Will Smith made a rash, impulsive, or angry decision here. No, I believe Will Smith made a calculated decision here. He made a choice. People have said that it was assault. And according to the law, yes, it could be termed as assault. But I believe that if Will Smith wanted to assault and beat down on Chris Rock, he would have punched him. And Will Smith knows how to throw a punch, he played Muhammed Ali in a bio pic. Will Smith slapped Chris Rock to humiliate him and teach him a lesson, not to assault/beat on him.

Who is Will Smith and who is Chris Rock?

Will Smith has been in front of our TV for years. We know parts of his personality. Simple question: from what we know about Will Smith, is he a violent person? Is he someone that reacts violently unprovoked or even when provoked? The only time I have seen him reacting violently when provoked was when some dude tried to forcibly kiss him on the mouth. I have seen him be insulted by celebrities and he has responded with grace, he doesn’t malign anyone even when he could.

I say this to point out what many people seem to be missing here. For Will Smith to slap Chris Rock on one of the biggest nights of his career, in front of the whole world, it must mean that this was just the tip of the iceberg. There must be some beef going on between Chris Rock and Will Smith’s family, which most people don’t know about.

What is the beef? Well, I did some research and I will speculate from the very words Will Smith used and from some of Chris Rock’s actions in the past.

“Keep my wife’s name out of you f…mouth.”. From these words, it must be that Chris Rock has not been keeping Jada Pinkett Smith’s name out of his mouth.

We know that at the 2016 Oscars which Chris Rock hosted, Chris Rock made a very nasty dig at Jada Pinkett Smith (and somehow managed to rope Rihanna into the nastiness):

“Jada got mad, said she’s not coming. Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties. I wasn’t invited.”

“You get mad. It’s not fair that Will was this good and didn’t get nominated. It’s also not fair that Will was paid $20 million for Wild Wild West.” (A movie flop)

But I don’t think that a nasty dig that was made in 2016 and another in 2022 is enough to have Will Smith make the decision he made.

So I think there must be many other instances that we don’t know about or we haven’t connected the dots to that made Will Smith say: Enough!

So I did some research.

There was instance in 2018, where Will Smith sent a birthday tribute to his first wife Sheree Zampino on instagram.

And….Chris Rock butted in.

And guess whose name was on Chris Rock’s mouth?

Yup, you guess it, Jada Pinkett Smith.

“Wow, you have a very understanding wife.” Chris commented to Will Smith.

Some people may think it was a joke because Chris Rock is a comedian, but this is starting to look kind of strange.

Sheree Zampino didn’t think it was a joke. She responded to Chris Rock with, “Don’t hate”. And went on to praise Jada Pinkett Smith.

It has been alluded that comedians use comedy to hold up a mirror to society. But listen, it goes both ways, that mirror can also show you what is inside the comedian’s heart.

In 1997, there was a march called The Million Women’s March; many women spoke during that march, including Jada Pinkett. Chris Rock had a show at that time called The Chris Rock show, and he did a segment on this march.

And out of all the women who spoke at that march, guess who Chris Rock picked to mock?

Yup, you guessed it, Jada Pinkett.

Then Jada Pinkett came on The Chris Rock’s show to talk about the march, and at the end, Chris Rock gave her a prize for not mentioning Will Smith’s name. Jada genuinely laughed. I think it was funny then. I think she didn’t know that he would become fixated on her.

Jada Pinkett Smith is a very beautiful woman….

@thetwerkinggirl, a comedian who has a verified twitter account posted on April 1, 2022 that :

“When touring the UK big-name US comedians try their material out in small comedy clubs. I was there when Chris Rock did a bit about unrequited love with an actress then burst into tears. We laughed but soon realised he wasn’t joking. The actress was Jada…”

This is a verified twitter account, someone who has been on the comedy circuits for decades.

1997-2022 is 25 years. So Chris Rock has kept Jada Pinkett Smith name in his mouth to mock for 25 years…….. are you connecting the dots now?

Do you still think this has to do with a rude joke about Jada’s hairstyle or alopecia?

I have listed the occasions of Chris Rock dragging Jada Pinkett Smith that are public, but what about the ones we don’t know about? What about the private occasions Jada Pinkett Smith’s name was on his lips? Will Smith has dealt with this privately and non-violently for decades, 25 years. But did it stop? Did Chris Rock keep his fixation on Jada Pinkett Smith private? No.

This is the second reason why I do not believe Will Smith was initially laughing at the joke.

Just a few days before the Oscars, Trevor Noah gently commented about Kanye West’s harassing behaviour towards his ex-wife Kim Kardashian. He said:

“It touches on something that is more sensitive and more serious than people would like to admit…I see a woman who wants to live her life without being harassed by an ex-boyfriend or an ex-husband or an ex-anything… You may not feel sorry for Kim because she’s rich and famous, but what she’s going through is terrifying to watch. And it shines a spotlight on what so many women go through when they choose to leave… What we’re seeing here is one of the most powerful, one of the richest women in the world unable to get her ex to stop texting her, to stop chasing after her, to stop harassing her.”

Replace Kim’s name here with Jada Pinkett Smith. If you can recognize that Kanye West’s behaviour towards Kim Kadashian is wrong and disturbing, also recognize that Chris Rock’s behaviour towards Jada Pinkett Smith is also wrong and disturbing. Unless you believe black women shouldn’t be protected.

In one of Jada Pinkett Smith’s Red Table Talk show, she had a conversation with Sheree Zampino. And they reminisced about a particular argument they had in the early days in which Jada politely asked Sheree to be more respectful towards her. Sheree’s response was to get angry and to tell Jada that she was living in the house she picked out. Jada responded with: “Well, it’s my house now.”

When Jada told Will what had gone down, Will got very angry at Jada, even though, in my opinion, in that situation, I felt Sheree was the rude one there (but no shade on Sheree, Jada mentioned how she herself was thoughtlessly insensitive).

But Will Smith stressed to Jada that because Sheree was Trey’s mom, he would not tolerate any rudeness towards her, even if Sheree was being rude. (Big Respect to Will Smith here). And to the credit of both women, they apologized to each other.

People have a lot to say about Will and Jada Pinkett Smith’s marriage, they say that Will has been emasculated by Jada for her ‘entanglement’ that happened when he and her broke up.

But they seem to forget that regardless of the status of their relationship, Jada Pinkett Smith is the mother of two of Will Smith’s children.

And if Will Smith will not tolerate his wife being disrespectful to his ex-wife, the mother of his first son, in a private conversation, why would he tolerate another man continually harassing the mother of his two children at world events?

It’s been 25 years of this, you cannot say it is just joking anymore. What about the instances we don’t know about?

How would Will Smith be able to look his two children in the eyes if he just sits back while their mother is being continually harassed by a comedian who is ‘just joking’?

So no matter what people say about how Will Smith has gone down in their eyes, in the eyes of Trey Smith, Jaden Smith, and Willow Smith, Will Smith will always be their hero. Because by valuing and protecting their mothers, they know he values and will protect them.

Now you may say, “yes, yes, maybe Chris Rock has been harassing Jada Pinkett Smith, maybe Chris Rock has crossed the line many times, but still Will Smith shouldn’t have responded like that”.

Please tell that to the family members of victims of 25 years of harassment. Even Jesus Christ, who I and billions of people worship as God, used violence in defense of the poor against a system that was exploiting them.

In John 2:15, Jesus made a whip out of cords and chased merchants and their cattle out of the temple. He also overturned the tables of money changers (oh anti-capitalists would love Jesus). This was more violent than a slap. If Jesus felt violence was necessary in that situation, then Will Smith, after exhausting all non-violent and private options, feeling the same can be justified.

Trevor Noah also spoke about how whenever his mother, who was abused by his stepfather, reacted, she was accused of ‘over-reacting’. Until the day, he got a call from his younger brother saying that their mom had been shot in the head by his stepfather.

If you remember, I mentioned above that I believe slapping Chris Rock was a calculated move by Will Smith. Why do I think that? Well, because I am trying to put myself in Will Smith shoes. I think that in his mind, what Chris Rock did there was a checkmate.

I believe that Will Smith has privately warned Chris Rock to stop harassing his wife, the mother of 2 of his kids. Now in his mind, that ‘joke’ by Chris Rock was Chris’s way of saying: ‘I don’t care about the warnings you gave me, I have the power to drag your wife in public, to your face, and there is nothing you can do about it. Afterwards, you may slap or punch me, but right here, right now, I have the power, and there is nothing you can do about it, because you will never make a scene on one of the biggest nights of your career. Checkmate.’

And I think Will Smith thought, ‘You think there’s nothing I can do about it? You think that I will choose my career, reputation, and dignity over protecting my wife from your constant harassment and humiliation? You thought wrong. I choose to protect my wife, to hell with my reputation. You seek to humiliate my wife, no, I will humiliate you. Checkmate.’

And he stepped in front of his queen. He stood up, slapped Chris, and shouted at him and made a scene and is now being hated on by the world.

Do you now see why I support Will Smith?

Comedians and protocol

Now some comedians feel shaken. Is this what will happen to them for doing their jobs?

Let me ask a question: I didn’t go to comedy school, so I don’t know whether you are ever given a class in ethics. But as a comedian, have you ever been warned not to use any gigs you have to settle personal scores? Is it ethical to harass a man or woman under the guise of comedy because maybe they rejected you or because you are attracted to them? Have you ever been taught to keep things professional? When you are employed for a gig, don’t you have to follow protocol, or does being a comedian make you exempt from an organization’s protocol?

That ‘joke’ by Chris Rock was not approved by the Academy. Chris Rock broke protocol.

Many people have praised Chris Rock’s restraint after getting slapped. But if Chris Rock really, truly had restraint, he wouldn’t have broken protocol and made a joke that wasn’t approved by the Academy. He wouldn’t have kept harassing Jada for 25 years. I mean, what was he doing under Will Smith’s post to his ex-wife talking about Jada? Doesn’t that sound bizarre to you?

Why does the Academy approve jokes? Why do they have rehearsals? If a joke is just a joke, then why does the Academy go to all these lengths, spending time and money? Why do they have protocols in the first place?

I think the reason they approve jokes and go through rehearsals is because they don’t want a scenario in which a joke is made that is viewed as harassment, someone gets angry, proceeds to slap the host who made the joke, shouts at them and causes a scene.

I know that scenario is far-fetched, but hey, it’s better to be safe than sorry. So they have protocols, they approve jokes, and go through rehearsals so that the actors are prepared for any uncomfortable digs thrown at them.

Chris Rock broke that protocol. He couldn’t let go of his harassment of Jada Pinkett Smith. He just couldn’t resist.

And am I to praise him for being professional? Am I to criticise Will Smith for protecting his wife from 25 years of harassment?

If Chris Rock had kept the protocol, none of this would have happened.

I repeat: If Chris Rock had kept the protocol, none of this would have happened.

So who is the one that lacks restraint here?

How much money did the Academy spend on preparations just for Chris Rock to break protocol, and in one swoop set off a chain reaction? And now there’s a fire, and are we to believe that it was Will Smith that lit the match?

‘Ok, fine’, you may say, ‘Chris Rock lit the match, but Will Smith didn’t have to burn.’

Once again, please tell that to the family members of victims of 25 years of harassment.

Who was the real bully?

People have said that Will Smith was a bully here. That if Chris Rock had been Dwayne-the Rock-Johnson, Will Smith would never have slapped him.

These statements seem to forget that Chris Rock was bullying Jada. Chris Rock has been harassing Jada under the guise of comedy for 25 years. Chris Rock was the bully here, and Will Smith was protecting Jada, his wife, from that bully.

Chris Rock chose Jada Pinkett Smith because for the past 25 years he has gotten away with harassing her. And he thought he would get away with it again. He was wrong.

That’s what bullies do, they pick on someone smaller than them; someone they feel is unprotected.

Black men are the only race in the world that I have seen take some sick pleasure in ridiculing the hairstyles and appearances of their own women.

The United States is a country that murdered/lynched black men for even daring to ‘whistle’ at a white woman. So all the white people clutching their pearls and saying that women don’t need to be protected in this way, need to take several seats. It hypocritical to criticise Will Smith’s slap when you have been ‘protected’ for centuries with real violence and used real violence to ‘protect’ your women.

When it comes to white women, black men in the USA know their place.

Black men know that if they go after white women in such a public manner, white men will deal with them, and believe history, it will not be with a slap. It will not be allowed to carry on for 25 years in public.

Oh by the way, Kanye West has been barred from performing at the Grammys due to his “concerning online behaviour”.

The ‘almighty’ gaze of White people and black self-hatred

To those black men saying that Jada Pinkett Smith didn’t need to be protected in this manner, your belief is just so…….unsurprising. In your eyes, black women do not need to be protected, especially not by black men.

But it’s more than that isn’t it?

You’re incensed that Will Smith hasn’t dumped his wife after her relationship with August Alsina when she and Will were separated. In your mind, she’s a cheater and she needs to be scorned publicly because you feel she publicly humiliated Will Smith, but you forget that it was August Alsina that opened his mouth to reveal their relationship. All she did was damage control.

You have more anger for one woman for having a relationship when she and her husband were separated than you do for all those (black) male celebrities who have publicly cheated on their wives.

You are perplexed as to why Will Smith hasn’t dumped her. So you concoct stories about how he’s emasculated, how she controls him, and how she’s ruining his life. The one story your mind cannot fathom is how Will Smith loves Jada Pinkett Smith unconditionally. Oh heck no! ‘Why would any man love a black woman unconditionally? Right?’

Will Smith’s behaviour is a threat to the toxic, misogynistic mindsets that you have about who should receive unconditional love in a relationship.

And don’t think we can’t see that some of you are jealous of Will Smith. He has had it all you think: a beautiful wife, light skinned, sorry, I meant beautiful kids, a successful music career, a successful TV career, a successful movie career, and beloved by the world. Now it’s his turn to realise he ain’t all that.

Listen closely then, the time is coming when men of other races will on mass start standing up for black women and protecting them, and they will not tolerate your degradation of black women. And this will be an embarrassment to you: you can’t even stand up to protect your women.

To those black men and women who have recognized Will Smith’s right to defend his wife, I say thank you. I see you, and I appreciate you.

To those black women (and men) who have gone on and on about how black women are unprotected and how we need to support and protect black women, but when Will Smith is willing to cause a scene to protect his black wife who has been harassed for 25 years, you are now worried about how it looks in the eyes of white people, and/or you say violence is not the answer, and to those black men who say black women don’t need protection, to you all I say:

Black people, we are our own problems. Yes, systemic racism and white supremacy has done a number on us, but self-hatred is our own responsibility. Removing systemic racism and white supremacy will not deal with your self-hatred. I would love to say that the self-hatred that black people have is entirely due to white supremacy, but I am an African, living in an African country that hasn’t been that affected by white supremacy, and I see the same self-hatred and unwillingness to protect black African women.

White men have beaten up, maimed, and killed black men during the Jim Crow era for even a hint of a black man looking in the white woman’s direction, but a black man rightfully, I repeat, rightfully, defending his black wife from 25 years of harassment with a simple slap, is wrong?

Let me educate you, men are supposed to defend women from other men. That is why they have their strength. That’s why God gave men this strength: to use it to defend and protect women from other men.

Either black lives matter or they don’t. Or do they only matter when the aggressor is white? And the victim is a black man? And they don’t matter when the victim is a black woman and the aggressor is a black man?

What was the use of all those protests if when a black man actually defends a black woman from another black man, you turn around and say: ‘Will Smith should have kept his composure’. You care more about composure than you do about protecting a black woman from a harassing black man.

You can say: but we didn’t know this history.

True, but you know enough about Will Smith to give him the benefit of the doubt, to withhold judgement until you hear both sides.

If Will Smith was a white man, white people would have been writing think pieces before the Oscars was even over about how there’s something behind this, this is so unlike [insert white actor’s name], let’s wait before we pass judgement because some violence is justified, and how a man has the God-given right to protect his wife.

But black people were running like sprinters behind Usain Bolt to condemn Will Smith, to throw him under the bus, to defile our ears with that silly statement that violence is never the answer, to prove to the white man that you are not like that ‘brute’ black man Will Smith (now that’s a joke), and lastly to insult Jada Pinkett Smith, because that messenger from Satan that has been assigned to some black men, whose mission is to remind black men to insult and blame black women, was having a party in your minds.

I am tired of black disunity and self-hatred. I am so tired of this.

To those black actors in the industry who feel that Will Smith’s actions will cause you to lose opportunities, to you I say: You don’t want to work for people who will use a black man rightfully defending his wife from harassment as an excuse to not employ you.

Yes, it is easy for me to say this since I am not the one who needs a job from them to feed my family. I acknowledge this.

So I just want to encourage you.

Have you ever considered that these studios need you more than you need them?

Have you ever considered finding a way to not need them?

Have you ever considered banding together and building your own systems that completely disrupt the existing system?

Black people are interesting. Black Americans are interesting. You are creative and a force to be reckoned with. You have an interesting culture and stories that many people want to watch. There are many audiences all over the world available to you. Find a way to tell your stories and get your stories to them without desperately needing people that will refuse to employ you because a black man rightfully defended his black wife from 25 years of harassment with a single slap.

But I don’t know too much about your industry, so….. maybe I’m talking nonsense. I pray God helps you in this area, and you start creating more opportunities for yourselves and reaching bigger audiences.

If you’re interested, I have written 2 books you can buy here:

Dealing with Your Implicit Racism (For black people and anti-racism activists) – I teach black people and others how to fight and win against their own anti-blackness.

http://goo.gl/fntWxf

Apostle Paul was a Feminist Vol 1– Using the misogynistic verses written by Apostle Paul, I prove that Paul was a Feminist.

https://amzn.to/3AX0q0J

The drinks that must be included in epic fantasy books

January 22, 2021January 22, 2021soladumiye Leave a comment

One thing that really helped me to imagine the fantasy worlds created in epic fantasy books like The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien (sorry, I tried reading the Lord of the Rings, I really tried, but it didn’t make any sense, was too slow going, and I couldn’t read the back to find out what was happening because…it didn’t make any sense) was the food and drinks that were described. And the Hobbit had a lot of food described there because Bilbo Baggins like to eat. This book was probably the first time I heard of that fascinating drink called cider (check out that recipe here). And while I can’t remember exactly, I’m sure there were plums, oh yes, plums that were eaten to abundance in the Shire, Bilbo Baggins hometown, and plums that flowed over tables when Bilbo and his dwarf companions were trapped in an elven forest party. Was plum juice involved? I wouldn’t be surprised since Bilbo liked delicious drinks and was very concerned that those dwarves that entered his pantry not take his special ‘sherry’. So maybe Bilbo Baggins made some plum juice, some plum cider, or some plum sherry. So take yourselves on a fantasy journey to the beautiful Shire by making yourselves some plum juice that Biblo Baggins would love to taste.

Ps. If you haven’t bought my book Dealing with Your Implicit Racism (For Black people and anti-racism activists), please go and buy it right away here to learn how to deal with your own racism.

An Enriched Life

January 19, 2021soladumiye Leave a comment

Some people may think back with nostalgia about their childhood, and wish that they could go back to those simple days. Not me. I do not wish to go back to my childhood. One of the reasons for this stance is because I remember the ignorance of childhood. There were things I just didn’t know nor did I understand. I feel like there were times I ignorantly walked into a den of wolves. Nowadays, I like to read about other people’s experiences because I feel it prepares me for the different aspects of life, like marriage, friendships, work relationships, childbirth etc. Reading about others experiences allows me to see into situations without experiencing them myself; it helps me to understand how things were in the past, and how that past brought about the present.

That’s why I want to do a spotlight on the autobiography by Yetunde Teriba called: An Enriched Life. In this book, she chronicles her life as a working mom and working for gender equality within the African Union. I think this is a book that everyone should read including non-working mom, whether male or female, and those who don’t understand what gender equality is all about. I say this because I know that some people just don’t understand what being a working mom entails and why women are fighting for gender equality and this lack of understanding leads them to be judgemental towards women in these situations. That’s why reading about Yetunde Teriba’s experiences over the course of decades can help you understand one woman’s life, but also the lives of other women.
So please go buy this book and gift it to others.

Lemonade and childhood stories

August 4, 2020January 22, 2021soladumiye Leave a comment

Screenshot_2020-08-03-14-16-50-1

In my previous post, I wrote about how apple juice (cider) and books had a connection in my mind. Another juice that is also connected to books in my life is: Lemonade. I found out about lemonade by reading children fiction books. In these stories, children my age would have lemonade stands where they would sell cold lemonade in jugs during the hot summer. Or they would pour themselves a glass of cold lemonade from a jug, at home, in the afternoon while they thought on very important children issues.

So of course I wanted to make some lemonade. I learned from these books that lemonade was lemon juice. So I got some lemons, water, and sugar and made myself some. As I drank it, I probably imagined myself as a book character, enjoying a (room temperature) lemonade and thinking about the issues of life.

It may be summer where you are, so why not make yourself some cold lemonade and think about the issues of life? And if it isn’t summer where you are at, but you want to do some simple activities with your kids, well then watch the video below on how to make some lemonade with an interesting twist.

Apple juice and fantasy worlds

August 3, 2020August 3, 2020soladumiye Leave a comment

Screenshot_2020-08-03-14-17-24-1
I love fantasy books. I have always loved them. One thing I love about them is the otherworldly ambiance they create with their talking animals, the magical systems, the creatures that don’t exist on this earth, the different races of people like mermaids, dwarves, elves etc and the foods and drinks. One drink that particularly denoted fantasy world to me was the drink: Cider.
I would imagine what this drink tasted like as I read about characters drinking spicy cider from vats. Oh, I wanted to drink some cider. Then I found out that cider was actually apple juice!
So if you want to feel like you are in a fantasy world, then make some cider (apple juice) and drink some, picturing yourself talking to elves and dwarves in a magical forest.

	The politics of maki… on Why I support Will Smith Part…
	The politics of maki… on WHY I SUPPORT WILL SMITH. Part…
	Why I support Will S… on WHY I SUPPORT WILL SMITH. Part…
	soladumiye on WHY I SUPPORT WILL SMITH. Part…
	earthatone on WHY I SUPPORT WILL SMITH. Part…

	The politics of maki… on Why I support Will Smith Part…
	The politics of maki… on WHY I SUPPORT WILL SMITH. Part…
	Why I support Will S… on WHY I SUPPORT WILL SMITH. Part…
	soladumiye on WHY I SUPPORT WILL SMITH. Part…
	earthatone on WHY I SUPPORT WILL SMITH. Part…

mebooksblog

The official website of Author Sefunmi Oladumiye

Palestinians are not Arabs

Always wait to hear the other side

Would you have listened?

The politics of making a scene: Why I support Will Smith Part 3

Why I support Will Smith Part 2: Why women need to be protected.

WHY I SUPPORT WILL SMITH. Part 1

The drinks that must be included in epic fantasy books

An Enriched Life

Lemonade and childhood stories

Apple juice and fantasy worlds

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: